i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The Olympian is in my bed
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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