You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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