its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
