so explain again why im purple
no
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
