just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
