Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Thanks for throwing up on me.

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  (859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night. (1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me. http://tfl.nu/msvj
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

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  (508): my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter. http://tfl.nu/lkrq
  Replies (14) Good night (469) Bad night (3097) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Awkward

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  (727): So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend (1-727): Awkward http://tfl.nu/j0vr
  Replies (13) Good night (557) Bad night (3042) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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  (832): i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life. http://tfl.nu/zh94
  Replies (51) Good night (4721) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.

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  (412): Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet. http://tfl.nu/977n
  Replies (14) Good night (4052) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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  (602): every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels.. http://tfl.nu/8nli
  Replies (6) Good night (2768) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me

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  (714): Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me http://tfl.nu/5ujc
  Replies (44) Good night (21036) Bad night (939)
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  (831): View more from California

  she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?

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  (831): she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/99g1
  Replies (80) Good night (14093) Bad night (2218) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.

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  (+44): The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them. http://tfl.nu/yb6x
  Replies (20) Good night (639) Bad night (3648) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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  (443): When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain. http://tfl.nu/mvaw
  Replies (6) Good night (2113) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.

  (1-714): View more from California

  YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES

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  (714): A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you. (1-714): YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES http://tfl.nu/lgqs
  Replies (15) Good night (1963) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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  (970): I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh. http://tfl.nu/93er
  Replies (9) Good night (1568) Bad night (577)
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  (310): View more from California

  Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.

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  (310): Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage. http://tfl.nu/meih
  Replies (11) Good night (1685) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Then he went and peed on those teenagers.

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  (501): I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it (501): Then he went and peed on those teenagers. http://tfl.nu/3fwd
  Replies (6) Good night (953) Bad night (250)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.

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  (515): I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/zet2
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt

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