Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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  (205): Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail http://tfl.nu/2rgt
  Replies (8) Good night (1232) Bad night (1697)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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  (717): So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC. http://tfl.nu/vvcv
  Replies (89) Good night (3156) Bad night (604)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me

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  (763): I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me http://tfl.nu/kago
  Replies (28) Good night (1024) Bad night (4464)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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  (646): I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night http://tfl.nu/kb2l
  Replies (5) Good night (4244) Bad night (902)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.

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  (201): I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside. http://tfl.nu/y1e3
  Replies (8) Good night (4958) Bad night (978)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.

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  (807): I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing. http://tfl.nu/a3a6
  Replies (19) Good night (4712) Bad night (1373)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.

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  (609): We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada. http://tfl.nu/0b9c
  Replies (22) Good night (6267) Bad night (2148)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator

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  (703): Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator http://tfl.nu/f05m
  Replies (7) Good night (2059) Bad night (1909)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.

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  (320): Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year. http://tfl.nu/8zt2
  Replies (10) Good night (1227) Bad night (4166)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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  (405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324
  Replies (11) Good night (1494) Bad night (1660)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.

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  (254): There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option. (512): That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too. http://tfl.nu/lz3p
  Replies (9) Good night (3025) Bad night (1308)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.

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  (615): There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night. http://tfl.nu/q563
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (1885)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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  (701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn
  Replies (9) Good night (2284) Bad night (885)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."

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  (503): The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you." http://tfl.nu/ce1u
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (355)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?

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  (765): Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night? http://tfl.nu/mtu1
  Replies (1) Good night (332) Bad night (144)

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