Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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