Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  dude, i look like john mccains neck right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): dude, i look like john mccains neck right now http://tfl.nu/y0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (1356)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend http://tfl.nu/5l48
  Replies (5) Good night (1585) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"?? http://tfl.nu/v3ie
  Replies (19) Good night (3363) Bad night (2194)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw. http://tfl.nu/6c9n
  Replies (21) Good night (3548) Bad night (2579)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body http://tfl.nu/esoz
  Replies (17) Good night (3457) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK??? http://tfl.nu/2k2z
  Replies (13) Good night (3743) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30
  Replies (1) Good night (2407) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea http://tfl.nu/d42k
  Replies (18) Good night (5848) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo
  Replies (5) Good night (3743) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (3238) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew http://tfl.nu/ebug
  Replies (3) Good night (1237) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled. http://tfl.nu/tlei
  Replies (2) Good night (490) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night. (864): I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this. http://tfl.nu/ixlj
  Replies (5) Good night (1087) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours http://tfl.nu/j499
  Replies (8) Good night (437) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night. http://tfl.nu/847z
  Replies (0) Good night (655) Bad night (439)

Randomize