Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.