Texts From Last Night

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  (133): View more from

  YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby

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  (133): YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby http://tfl.nu/m0vf
  Replies (6) Good night (1582) Bad night (484)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"

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  (515): Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?" http://tfl.nu/shhr
  Replies (28) Good night (6376) Bad night (1182)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

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  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
  Replies (280) Good night (54795) Bad night (4838)
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  (510): View more from California

  You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying

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  (510): You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying http://tfl.nu/xlhu
  Replies (25) Good night (2154) Bad night (6097)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.

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  (905): Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home. http://tfl.nu/by9e
  Replies (18) Good night (5213) Bad night (955)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.

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  (406): Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana. http://tfl.nu/lih3
  Replies (23) Good night (2008) Bad night (3187)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.

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  (608): I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her. http://tfl.nu/42b2
  Replies (6) Good night (3268) Bad night (926)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?

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  (412): judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night? http://tfl.nu/fs5d
  Replies (4) Good night (2146) Bad night (906)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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  (704): I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks. http://tfl.nu/gvia
  Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (1386)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.

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  (770): She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college. http://tfl.nu/xmfo
  Replies (4) Good night (1809) Bad night (480)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.

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  (503): I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20. http://tfl.nu/9ljc
  Replies (6) Good night (1514) Bad night (425)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public

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  (843): i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public http://tfl.nu/vwkw
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (376)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.

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  (405): Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man. http://tfl.nu/rjwi
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (345)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.

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  (920): If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it. http://tfl.nu/moud
  Replies (7) Good night (814) Bad night (327)
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  (707): View more from California

  Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid

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  (707): Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid http://tfl.nu/1mf7
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (306)

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