Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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