i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
