i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
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I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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