I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
