He kissed a someone with a penis
Come see our sink grown plant.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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