But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
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I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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