I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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