I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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