Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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