let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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