so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
