I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
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I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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