Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
