I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
