Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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