sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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