How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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