I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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