I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
