that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
