Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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