it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
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I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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