why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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