This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize