Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
