We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
