If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
