Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet