it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
