Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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