I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you will always have a special place in my vag
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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