Having a random hookup so left but love u
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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