I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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