i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
