Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
