Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
