i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
