What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm getting married
To pizza
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
