She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
