What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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