Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
