next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
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The beer is more important than you right now.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
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Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?