Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.