Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
