his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
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His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
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Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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