i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
