I cannot find my penis.
i would punch a child for taco bell
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
