She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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