If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
smell my finger.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
