he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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