Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
