College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
