oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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