Just mADE A PArabola og urine
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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