no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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