so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
