i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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