I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
