she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
